That girl!

I am the girl that reads.

I am the girl that has finished the PT course.

I am the girl that goes climbing, salsa dancing and does yoga.

I am the girl that wakes up in the morning and meditates.

I am the girl that has financial stability.

I am the girl that dresses nicely and takes care of her clothes and shoes.

I am the girl that takes care of her body.

I am the girl that is cheerful and positive.

I am the girl that is honest and humble.

I am the girl that works hard but doesn't stress about things she can't control.

I am the girl that loves her family.

I am the girl that keeps in touch with her friends.

I am the girl that takes goals and achieves them.

I am the girl that has beautiful home.

I am the girl that organises dinners and invites friends over for a intelligent evening.

I am the girl that knows what she wants and is not afraid to ask for it. 

I am the girl that is proud of what she has achieved, personally and professionally. 

I am the girl that works out daily. 

Journal Challenge - Day 15 - Letter - Open on 12/11/2025

 *Write an encouraging letter to your younger self

Hey girl, 

You are awesome and you are doing the best you can. You have achieved so much in your life. The courage you have had to move countries, twice, without having a real prospect of what you going to do or where you are going to stay. And now, look at you! You are well loved and appreciated in the company you work at. You have lovely apartment in a nice area. You have few really good friends you can count on. And your family always supports you, even with the crazy ideas of moving.

You have learned a lot about yourself in the last couple of years and you are continuing to grow and learn and improve yourself. It takes time, but its the journey and it will never become easier. But you fight through!

You are becoming more and more financially accountable. You have paid off your debt and won't be back in this situation ever again! You have saved some money and spending it on experiences that create memories rather than short term pleasure items. You own beautiful clothes and shoes and household items that you are proud of and that serve you! You have a style and grace about you! 

You are fit and strong and keeping yourself in check with eating healthy and keeping active. It's been an up and down journey with the weight and looks, but you are finally here where you are happy and confident. You are part of community that cares about each other and fitness is big part of your daily life. Whether that means dancing all night, going on hikes, climbing or bouldering, you are spending your time being active! 

You have learned and grown a lot within the industry and are managing yourself. It could be within a bar where you are a managing partner and operations manager, or/and freelancing as an operations/office manager at your own company. This allows you to travel to places you have always wanted to go - back to States, to Japan, Indonesia and South America.

You are amazing, and don't ever doubt yourself. Yes, there might be some hard times, but you always come out on top. There will always be a way! Make it happen! Go girl!

Journal Challenge - Day 9 - My own company

 *Write about a time you enjoyed your own company.

Well, this is quite an easy one. I almost always enjoy my own company. 

Very recently I spend Sunday: doing a fun colour run, went to theatre and had dinner on my own. Even though the run would have been more fun with a company, but as I didn't even run, I think it was great. And I danced, like nobody was watching. Theatre was a modernised Shakespeare play, while still using the old language, so at points it was hard to understand, but overall, a little bit of culture that makes you think a bit more. And the dinner, after a long and a bit tiring weekend, was exactly what I needed. No one talked to me, no one bothered, I could just enjoy my burger and a beer, get a discount and walk home. Quite perfect day. 

Journal Challenge - Day 7 - Joy!

*What brings you joy?

Doing the little projects. Like today:

Getting ready (prepping) all the necessary things for the event. 

Bringing the games to the office.

Getting the cards done to add to my costume. 

Doing the decorations to give a bit more spirit to the place. 

Ordering the soft drinks for the night.

Journal Challenge - Day 6 - A skill

 *Name a skill you're good at. How do you feel when you are performing that skill?

I like being prepared. I am prepared. And that makes me organised. I feel good, accomplished because there are a lot of things that could go wrong and being prepared takes out the unknown out of the equation and any issues can be dealt with before rather than having to stress about it later - on the day or last minute. Makes me happy that I can actually think ahead of time, check what needs to be done and avert any problems. 

When sometimes things do happen and I haven't thought about it, feels like I haven't done my job. Even though I know that I tend to be a lot more prepared and ready for certain occasions than most people, I still sometimes don't give myself enough credit.

Note for future. I am doing a great job! 

Journal Challenge - Day 4 - A wish

 *What is something you have now that seemed like a wish back then? How do you feel knowing that you have it now?

I wish to work at Trident Park. It feels like accomplishment, but at the same time I feel like I'm not giving myself enough credit in achieving it. Or maybe the wish was not big enough in the first place so achieving it doesn't seem as big. 

At the same time, in general, am I avoiding to allow myself to have these big wishes just not to feel disappointed if I don't achieve it? What is the root cause?

Also, I wish to live and succeed in Malta. I am now living here, working and enjoying life. Of course, I have a well-paid job, probably better than a lot of OM in Malta. But is it well-rounded success? Again, I feel like I'm being hard on myself. 

Some wishes for future?!

I wish I travelled without worrying about money, security.

I wish to be debt free by end of middle of next year!

I wish I was fit and feel good about my body.

Journal Challenge - Day 3 - Memories

 *Write about the last memory that made you happy. What does it feel like in your body?

ANY TRAVEL EXPERIENCE.

Especially if it is with my friend - Jolanta :) It's always fun and adventurous. Different experiences, new foods, couple of drinks. It makes me miss her a lot and all the good times we have spent together. But it also gives me a lot of great emotions and memories and longing to go travelling again. And with Jolanta is it the freedom and carefree days that make these trips so memorable. 

Malta

Marocco

Marocco

London

Journal Challenge - Day 2 - Skills

 *Write about a skill you are grateful for. Why?

Hard skills represent things you've learned to do or use—like tools, technologies, or proficiencies. Soft skills are interpersonal traits you have developed over time—like effective communication, dependability, or generosity.

Hard Skills

I'm grateful to be able to speak more than one language, multilingual. Even though sometimes I feel like I am forgetting words in one or the other language, I am capable to hold a conversation in Latvian and English. English has become commonly used language, as most of the everyday conversations and work is done in English. If I would spend more time listening, reading and communicating in Russian, I am convinced I could hold a conversation in Russian too. 

It's sometimes really hard to judge yourself, in a good way. To evaluate your skills as I seem to just have them and think that most people would have them and that does not make me feel special. And I feel like I do know how to use certain systems, but not to the extent that I would call myself expert. 

Soft Skills

I'm definitely organized. I like things neat and tidy as well as I like to be prepared for things and think through what needs to be done and what needs to be ordered (for example at work, for kitchen). Sometimes although, making lists and being super organised is tricky, but lately I have become more open-minded and open to changes as well as spontaneity. So to say that I have adaptability to certain situations, people's characters - I'm pretty good at it. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm trying to avoid conflict. And I feel like I'm good at problem solving too. Although I am really good at making things more complicated that they should be. 

I'm grateful for the last couple of years, where I have a lot more focused on myself and learned about how and why I do certain things as well as act certain way. And I want to learn more, I want to read more (so it's really frustrating that I choose to spend my time in front of TV, watching something that doesn't give me any knowledge, just distracts me from the focuses I want in my life) 

Journal Challenge - Day 1 - Setting an intention

 *List at least three things that make you feel grounded. How do you want those things to carry you today? How do they make you feel more connected to yourself and others?

Feeling grounded often means feeling calm, secure, and present in the moment. It’s about being centered and connected to yourself and your surroundings, despite external stress or chaos.

I think my main three things would be: music, meditation and dance. Even though I do none of those regularly. Hopefully this challenge gives me the push I need to stay consistent and actually keep concentrated one thing and finish it. 

Music has always been something that is close to my heart, that always makes me happy or in the right mood. Or brings back great memories that I associate with good events. It's never really just one song or one genre. It depends how I feel and if I want to intensify the feeling or change it. Certain music will lift me up or calm me down. 

I have done different meditations and especially during yoga teachers course, when we meditated for 3 weeks every morning, I could feel the benefits of the time I spend with my own thoughts, without listening to anything or thinking about anything in particular. 

Dance has been part of my life, and during the time in Latvia, when going out and dancing was a big part of my life, I really enjoyed it. Salsa dancing was about community, club dancing is about letting yourself go. There is still part of me that is cautious of what others would think when they see me dance, but lately I have that feeling less and less. 

Today has been an interesting Tuesday, some work meetings didn't really go as planned. But I would feel weird if I put my headphones in to listen to music or take 10 minutes to meditate in the meeting room. So still in back of my head I feel like I would be judged for taking time for myself, during working hours. Sure, I could combine the meditation and music, because lot of times the music I would want to listen to at work would be background, like Moby or Jon Hopkins.

Dance definitely makes me connected to others. Whether it is salsa so you actually are feeling each other, the moves are closer and more intimate. In the club or festival, it's more about the overall vibe, togetherness in enjoying the same music, same atmosphere. So, that makes me feel connected to the world.

When do I feel more connected to myself? Probably during meditation. 

Hanging by the moment

Lifehouse - Hanging by the moment

It’s weird how some songs that are about 15-20 years old come back to me in certain situations and remind me of certain time in my life, certain people and experiences.

How important the lyrics are and how meaningful they are to me. Yes, there is the melody and the beat, but lyrics, even if it’s one verse or only chorus, are so effective. The right lyrics will lift my mood.

Stereophonics - Maybe Tomorrow

There is definitely some unresolved issues in my life, especially looking at my relationships. Romantic relationships. A friend suggested therapy. A professional who will see through me, through my blocks and see patterns where I hold myself back. I never thought I would need therapy, but maybe it’s worth it. I don’t think I can understand myself on my own no matter how much I think I work on myself.

Live - The Dolphin’s Cry

‘Love will lead us. She will lead us’

Burna Boy, Ed Sheeran - For My Hand

Is it stupid to think that this kind of love exists? How do I find it? Where do I find it? I guess a good start is going to places that make me feel good - work out, dance, climb, meditate.

Stress

Stress is such a funny thing.

There is the type of stress that you feel straight away, when you gotta deal with difficult situation and it makes your blood boil, your heart race and it’s just a moment and it’s over.

Then you have stress that is building up slowly while you do your daily activities, but something in the back of your head (no pun intended - ref pain right now) just starts to hurt. But it’s not like it’s pain, it’s tension!  Tension that you can’t get rid of until you get rid of source of the stress.

The stressor could be a number of things, but this time I think it is the upcoming change. The change in lifestyle, the move to a new country. The fact that I’m leaving my regular/normal life behind and starting a completely new chapter. Chapter that…

Where was my thoughts going there???

Black Gold thoughts

It’s a weird feeling. To sit here in Black Gold, middle of Saturday, looking at all the yachts and Manoel Island in the distance. And to think this is my home now. 

You can see people passing by and some of them are tourists just popping by and looking for a lunch spot, and some, walking faster, on a mission, to get to shops, or work or wherever you te need to get. 

It’s warm. I’m still getting used to the weather and the fact that it can be sunny and +18 at the end of January. 

I hope I never loose the sight of little exciting things. The ones you notice when you go on holidays. The beautiful architecture, the happy people, the new cute restaurants or bars. 

There is a mix of music, songs between the two bars. And sometimes they complement each other, sometimes they clash. But you gotta take it as the way of life. Island life. A way for businesses to make a living, attracting customers. 

Heading to karaoke tonight, and a club later. Not a regular Saturday night for me. I’ve been flying under radar for a bit. Partly it is a finance thing and I have to keep reminding myself (Dave Ramsey) to live like no one so you can live like no one! But partly it’s the fact I’m a lot more choosy on how and who with I spend my time with. And I think it’s a good thing. It’s a growth thing. When you decide what you want to do, not what would make you fit in the crowd. And it is really hard until you accept you can’t be everyone’s friend, and you won’t be able to attend every single party on the island. 

It’s very interesting to see how I have grown over the last couple of years, since I have actually started to pay attention. Pay attention to how I feel, to how I want to be perceived. 

It is still different when I go back home to Latvia. And if I decide, when the decide to move back, it will some adjusting time. Like now. But it might be easier because I would have support of family. Not that I don’t have it now. It would just be closer. 

And I stil have to decide if that’s gonna be a good thing. To have family so close.

Anyway, the verdict on that is still out, and a while away.