Day 4

today was supposed to be a reflection day, before the new year starts on 12th February. and i haven't actually thought about last 30 days. but i guess i should a bit. i feel i have come a long way in last couple of months in general. yes, i still have a lot of things on to do list, but i am focusing and doing and reading and trying my best to not be a lazy ass b****. but, of course, i can push myself even more which i will do.

one thing i did notice is that i have not been able to fill out my diary (happiness planner) properly. it requires me to write down things i want to focus on and things i am excited about for the day. they always seem to be the same things that are on to do list or on schedule. and i'm sure there is more i can be excited about, not just going for a walk.

maybe i should get up a little earlier, have a 5 minute meditation, sit down with cup of tea and actually focus a bit more on what i will do that day and be excited about.

then again, we are still locked in. house arrest. you can leave the house locally once a day for exercise, groceries or essential shopping. so there is not much to be excited about. find excitement!

let's get down to the big projects - photos! business plan! side hustle! 

p.s. project body love.

how important it is for you to improve your body image? 7 - i think i already value my body a lot more than couple of years back and appreciate it, especially when comparing how i feel about it now, when i look at old photos.  

how confident you are that you can improve your body image? 9 - i can definitely do it. it is not a 10 because i think there will always be days that i won't feel great about myself, but will focus on continuing on improvement.

Day 3.b

ha! i can put more effort into this. :D

just read some of my older posts on here. and they are full with fun happenings, amazing music and pictures of memories.

i can definitely put more effort into making this a better diary than it is right now.

even if it is just for me. :)

by the way, this is me. from couple of days ago. early morning walk. Hyde park. with Jolanta. and squirrels. 

x

music: St Finnikin - Monarch

Day 3

hasn't really been a super productive day. started Project Body Love - comitment to listen to 5 minutes a day of 30 day podcast. first day ssked me to answer these questions below: why are you looking to improve relationship with yourself image? why now? what do you hope to achieve? what would a better body image mean to you? started the flow training modules for work. made a delicious sorrel soup. the girls moved the chat to thursday, as Anna wasn't feeling well today and have important meetings tomorrow. probably will have a read of the 'shopping book' and go to sleep early. p.s. my answers to the questions. i want to improve my relationship with my body image, because i know i am beautiful, but there is always those couple of kilos that i want to drop. even though looking back at pictures, where i thought i was fat, i now know i wasn't. but i want to be happy with how i am while improving and toning my body to the level it was couple of years ago. why now? because i am more aware of it, and because it is easy to be influenced by social media of the standards, expectations, that are not real in every day world for an every day person. i hope to feel more confident about my body, dress a bit more courageously. and allowing myself to wear dresses that accentuate my body and the good aspects of it - the legs, bum, sholders, back.. it would mean, i wouldn't doubt myself and be comfortable in my own skin and clothes

Day 2

hey hey it's been snowing all day and it's so beautiful and white. reminds me of home. makes me miss home. but i have been very lucky to feel good throughout this time. even though martina is away and i'm spending most of my day alone and at home, i have been able to look up to the positive things in my life and concentrate on little projects to keep me going from one day to another. i did spend all day today being lazy and just chilling on a sofa, watching netflix. yes, i had a walk, yes, i did go to shop with Laura, yes, i did have delicious home cooked steak for lunch/dinner. but no books or courses were done today. sometimes you do need to let go and not have the pressure of being perfect everyday. allow yourself to not do all the things on the list. but tomorrow i hope to be productive. and fingers crossed, i can chat with my girls. it's been too long. miss you, g. x

Day 1

it's again been a while since i wrote anything. where do i start? i have always skipped starting something or delayed doing something, because i want it to be perfect, and i want to know all about it before i get into it. like starting to write in a beautiful notebook. the first page needs to be perfect.. but then i look back, and yes, first page is perfect, but then the rest of it seems rushed and messy.. so i think it's better to start when you want to and improve over time.. this is why i'll just start. it's snowing here in London and we are in #lockdown3. i'm baking apple cinnamon muffins with oats and no sugar. my day consists of a daily early morning walk with jolanta, book reading, podcast listening and a mix of little projects. as well as netflix, tik tok and instagram scroll. a touch of daily exercise. it's all going well on days when i'm productive and push myself to be #uncomfortable. it's a bit harder in the days when i spend the whole day in front of the screen watching some series and i can't even rememeber what i watched the day later. but over last couple of days, i think i have learned to switch off and focus on things that are important to me. the early mornings with jolanta are important. it's a positive start of the day. and informative. and challenging at times (especially when it's pissing down like crazy). exchange of what we have learned from podcasts, books and courses as well as tik tok is amazing even if sometimes we don't agree with each other, we have learned to agree to disagree. and even more, come to accept that we are different and that the fact that we are different (at this point i'm talking about the general population) makes us amazing. we need to understand that if we all were the same, if all did everthing the same, came to same conclusions and never challenged each other, the world would be a very bleak place. anyway, i'll go back to my muffins and speak tomorrow! g.x

19/06/2018

It's almost a month later and i have massively failed on my challenges. i have to admit, i tried and have definitely spend less money than i could have and haven't had milk with my coffee - i am officially on oat milk flat whites! exercising has been non-existent but it is purely because i have been lazy. it's amazing how this year has passed, so quickly. and in a day me and Marcin are going to Russia. it feels like we booked it yesterday. i'll try to post something everyday, but it might be difficult as we are in Russia and then Latvia. even though that is only an excuse. again. i know it only takes couple of minutes and while it's fresh in your head - just pop it in through app. : ) fingers crossed. i'm not entirely sure what i'm trying to do with this blog. what do i write, why do i write?

29/05/2018

the name for this post is a date just to remind myself that i need to get back to writing. soon enough i won't need dates, i will actually be naming the posts.. again.. : ) i have been telling myself i will re-start writing blog for such a long time now, and now that i'm finally looking at it, last post was in 2015.. i feel i have let myself down. and to be honest, i have. i have been bouncing up and down with my weight while i should have been bouncing up with positive emotions! a lot has happened since and i would love write everything down, but i'm at work. i just wanted to start and cross it off my list before the end of may. i will be (fingers crossed) doing 30 days of blog (reason the dates are there!) and mini exercise challenge. And to add to it the 30 days of happiness/health/language list.. on top of that, i'm on money saving mode. lots of holidays still planned and possible change of work. ok. that's it for a quick update. p.s. wearing four rings today, each of them coming from different source, whether it was a gift from mom, dad or boyfriend or myself. It does feel a bit too much at the moment but that's because i normally wear my 'traditional' two.. talk to you tomorrow! G.