Thank you 2021

 It’s been an amazing experience. Starting from lockdown (another one) walks with Jolanta and learning to live on my own, getting into habit of cooking myself and eating healthy. Coming back to work in the gym, rocking the fitness part of my life, and being happy with myself. Moving house with Martina in middle of pandemic. And having successful house warming. Making decision to step up and do what I have been wanting for a while - doing yoga teaching course! Leaving Soho House, after almost 7 years. Spending three weeks in Greece soaking up sunshine and knowledge all things yoga. Starting new job, working with Wayne for Arrival company, such a different hospitality environment. Trip to Naples with Jolanta, staying at Elīna’s and exploring the city. And Christmas in Latvia, united with family.

*music - BOOOM playlist by OIOI (thanks ❤️)

NVC

Let's start reading and learning.

-The concrete actions we OBSERVE that affect our well-being

-How we FEEL in relation to what we observe

-The NEEDS, values, desires, etc. that create our feelings

-The concrete actions we REQUEST in order to enrich our lives

And this happened 10 days ago.. Have I read anything more? Not really. 

But I hadn't watched Netflix for almost the whole week, as I was too busy socialising. 

This week I'll try to get a perfect week (doesn't exist) or at least close to.

Will keep my work hours to a set rhythm, keep waking up early, and little bit of social life after work, but nothing crazy, as I am saving money and constantly living over my budget.

Ok. Another day, another addition to the blog piece I didn't finish.

2/5 workouts done.

Socialising

Have had two very social days. 

Yesterday the extra walk was with Kirsty and Jake. So nice to see them both. Did talk a lot about work but that was expected. Jake asked for my input on reception team training at The Ned. I'm really excited. One that I could see the gym, workout and help out! Also, potentially a step towards lunch at the top of The Ned. Rooftop cocktails! Shame Jake has a girlfriend. 

Today - Harry and Meghan! Shame Seb couldn't join but he did have his TRX class (which I am really happy about, at what rate it is developing!). Anyway, it was a beautiful weather, even hot I would say. Especially comparing to yesterday, where I feel like I froze, the wind and rain.. Brrrrr..  An Harry and Meghan, the cutest couple ever! Bought me a coffee and a little pastry in their local shop, the Putney neighbourhood is very lovely! 

Makes me think a little, how easy life would be if we all knew who is our The One, one person in the world that we are perfect for. Or when you know, you know. There is no back and forth, there is no doubt. 

(music)

Walking with Elephants - Ten Walls

Sun Don't Shine - KlangKarusell

(word)

participate in social activities; mix socially with others

I think

I'm not gonna try to write every day. because there is nothing much to write everyday.

I should definitely get to the point of sitting down and trying to write a line, but if there is nothing there. 

Well, there is nothing there.

Right?

Highlight of today? Gonna repeat myself, but the early morning walk with Jolanta where we discussed the second chapter of the Rich Dad, Poor Dad book. I do feel like I am managing myself a lot better now, as in I accept the different opinion, even though I don't agree with it. Definitely feel myself growing. 

Sleep is so important

Monday was very socially active for me. Regular early morning walk with Jolanta, later morning walk with Laura and cavapoo Moka.. And an afternoon catch up with Luke. 

But this morning was hard, I realised how much the beer that I had in afternoon affected the quality of the sleep I had. Everything I read (Matthew Walker - Why we sleep) was true. Even though I slept for more than 8 hours, the quality of the sleep was at a lower spectrum of average (FitBit calls it fair, but I don't value it so highly). 

Today I have been a bit lazy and been restoring my energy levels. An extra shower to feel refreshed and I am sorted. 

No regrets. 

Sunday Funday

Right, first of all, let me not excuse myself. 

Because, yes, I missed out on a day again. But no apologies or excuses.

Yesterday was a bit of a weird day, especially the morning - market shopping. I didn't go to the regular veggie stall and ended up paying £2.80 for three onions! And without clear thought bought 12 eggs for £5.30 instead of 30 eggs for £5. Just because, I didn't think it through, stepping out and getting cash would have been so easy. And then the headache. But I blame it on the weather changes.

New Moon. Pirmā mēness diena. Planning time was yesterday and I did some planning and a schedule, I do like lists and schedules. So. Yes, 28 days, which is perfect as it is exactly 4 weeks until I have to go back to work! Discipline is needed to make sure I keep myself accountable of all the points in the day.

Today is went well.

Workout and shower.

Laundry and clean house (not a deep cleaning but an overall fresher feeling).

New bedding. 

A movie.

Pictionary with brother and mom. Can't wait!

xx

TGIF

...then again... who is actually paying attention to the days... for now we still live in the same world where days just go by and it is the same thing day in and day out..

i think a little reform is needed...

a good walk with Jolanta today and very nice workout! focused - strengthen and stretch...

little uneventful talk with Jed, Kirsty and Karo. just confirmed the opening times and time slots for April.. need more guidance and confirmations on 'club school' as well as our health & safety guidelines..

anyway, on to a second chapter in FOH course..

Thursday, March 11

I had an Honest burger today and it was delicious! It was well 'deserved' after the long walk to Camden Town. So nice to see the girls, Kat and Christina from gym team. And we got really lucky with weather, because it was supposed to rain, but.. it didn't :)

And now we are having Wine Club again. It's Thursday.

I would definitely like to learn more about wines. 

But if I need to choose wine or spirits, I think most likely I would choose spirits.

P.s. Missed yesterday's blog entry. How? 😳

Tuesday, March 9

not sure...

actually i know exactly why i feel under the weather today. i underestimated the weather, and was wearing a leather jacket for a walk and now feel like i might be catching something. have had a thera-flu, so hoping that tomorrow morning will wake up fresh as a berry.

relatively lazy day, haven't done much work, just socialising and walking 25km.

got confirmation that we would be going back to 100% pay and 5 day weeks in May. which hopefully is a good thing. just need to get through April and opening first. also, need to check when and how to sign up for the vaccine. at the moment it is given to people who are 55 and over.

should get extra hour of sleep tonight.

Day 30

And just like that, 30 days gone.

And just like that, another Monday.

And just like that, five weeks to go.

Apart from the usual highlights of the day.

Had a lovely walk with Wayne.

Received UC.

Almost won the Quiz.

Great Day.

Day 29

I think I might start to write down all the topics me and Jolanta are talking about in the morning, to be able to expand on them later. But we so quickly go from one to next it is hard to pinpoint them.

But there were some good ones today, like...

*how long for Prime Minister is elected?

*how beautiful it would be to mix the simple life in the countryside with modern living?

and other topics...

I am thinking tough, why I am not more focused on writing up my business plan?

Yes, I do write down my ideas and little sections of it in my notebook, and I guess one could count it as writing a business plan. But I haven't put them in any kind of professional format.

Really need to work on that!

Also, it's been a lazy ass weekend, spending a lot of time in front of the laptop screen without being productive. Just watching drama on The Challenge show. I do admire the strength of those people, going miles and miles in the heat, solving puzzles, fighting with other contestants. It looks super hard.

On another note, I was acknowledged by my work and won a PT session with Harry!  as the most active team member in February. 28 days out of 28 days. Whoop whoop. I have been active for every day since the beginning of the year, but who is counting. Hahaha.

Day 28

Lazy day highlights:

* 'boyfriends' chat during morning walk

* beautiful market shop

* easy strength workout

* delicious and gorgeous lunch - breakfast bap

* chilled lounge day on sofa with The Challenge

* quick catch up with mom

* the wolf book

Skipped publishing button 🙈

Day 27

TGIF - Thanks God It's Friday!

Such a lovely, productive day.

Had a lovely morning walk with Jolly, washed my clothes, caught up with some of the team members, learnt french (total of 59 words), read Rich Dad, Poor Dad, worked out, made steak and veggies, went for a run, had shower, call with work colleagues, started fast an hour early, chat with mom with a side of box clean up and now I'll read the wolf book and go to sleep. 

Have planned walks for next week: 

Monday - Wayne

Tuesday - Laura

Wednesday - Luke

Also, busy social calendar:

Monday - Quiz night

Thursday - Wine Club (still need to find a good wine for under £10)

Problem is that one thing I did plan to do, I didn't - Active Proposal.

Need to concentrate! Then again, my life is not a to do list. 

Just googled the picture on the left, and there is this 'my stop-doing list' and maybe that is something that is very useful. Maybe I should do a list like that? 

Ok, it is time to switch off screen. I am being really good at this screen time lately. (Apart from yesterday, when I binge watched The Challenge most of the day!) Especially before bed, at least an hour of no blue light. And it feels that it actually helps with my sleep. Then again it might be the fact that my circadian rhythm is constant 6am wake up time and 9.30pm bed time every day. Also the fact that there is walking and fresh air involved every day is also very good. And healthier diet! I am very proud of myself for sticking to it. Best thing is, I can see the results - leggings that I bought while in Latvia over JustFab and didn't fit at all! :( in July. They fit me perfectly now! Whoop whoop.

Day 26 - March 04

How the fuck did I miss a day again?

Should I just stop counting? Grrrrrrr....

Fine. Anyway.

Here’s a book I’m reading..

It has a different view on savings, houses as assets and couple of other things, comparing to Dave Ramsey. So let’s read and learn.

Day 24 (missed 23)

hahaha.. this turns into a pattern..

every couple of days I miss a day..

yesterday was fun, not too productive, but quite social..

early morning with Jolanta, late morning walk with Laura and Moka..

little workout, lunch and chilling with Netflix..

delicious fish for dinner and a work quiz night..

this morning was kinda productive.. i sent through the printer i sold.. and got the money already..

and spent 30 minutes listening/learning french on the app.. second day in the row! look at me!

today would have been a good to day to get back into running, but it's so cold out there.. let's see how i feel in about three/four hours..

also, good point from my mom. at this time, i don't actually do much so there is not much to write about, so i should write everyday, but post it every couple of days.. i guess that is true, but i will get through the 30 days of blogging! 

fingers crossed!

p.s. update - went for a run. just 2km. but it felt good.

Day 22 - last day of February

I walked absolutely smashing 430 kilometres in February! Now I just need to add running to it. Short runs daily. :)

So - Goals. Tasks. Actions. For March.

First of all GOALS:

Learn basic French with Speakly language app (30 min each day)

Business Plan.

Pictures and Memory sketchbook.

Run 50km in a month.

Work stuff (don't leave it until April).

Restaurant Service and Management Diploma course.

Jewellery sort and clean.

Let's look back at this list at the end of next month. 

Fingers crossed.

Day 21

Couldn’t go to sleep without having written something.

Well, here we go.

Had a wonderful walk with Jolanta, and super short and sweet market shopping. Workout with Martina. Received my books - 2x finance books and 1x self-exploration book. Also, new FitBit band. Made sauerkraut. Had a great talk with mom. And now just catching up on Sleep book. 

Beautiful full Snow moon this evening. Didn’t feel too much of the effect of it but maybe it’s because I did keep in mind that it is on and I should be a lot more cautious and take things easy. Done and done.

Here are some photos from out morning walks.

Day 20 (missed 19)

Again. 

Maybe I need to schedule in time to write something, otherwise it kinda skips my mind. 

Yesterday was a beautiful day. A very much of a spring morning, sunny and warm.

Martina and I participated in the West Wine Club. Online of course, through Zoom. Organised by Alessio and Elitsa. Dedicated to Georgian wines. Unfortunately as decision joining this festivity was last minute, we didn't have Georgian wine. None of the big wine shops would stock them and only wine Waitrose stocks was sold out. So my walk to the shop was only for crackers, grapes and cheese. Ended up with a simple french Sauvignon Blanc. Will need to stock up on wines but it is not in my budget at the moment. 

I can't believe February is almost over. And March is upon us. And then April, and we are back to work. I do miss work, my lovely reception girls, fitness coaches (even though half of them will be gone by the time we open) bar team.. and hard working LG and GA teams.. and members...

Day 18

It's gonna be interesting to get adjusted to living again with someone. Especially with someone who has almost a completely different daily schedule. But I guess that's where all the talks with Jolanta hopefully will get handy. Everything about us being different and accepting that. Working out the ways we can live along side and help each other. Martina said she wants to have a proper plan for next 10 days while she is self isolating. I am happy to help. Let's see what she has in mind.

On other news, Boris wrote out a plan for next couple of months, and here it is below. Main date for me is 12th April, which means gyms can re-open (without group classes), but at least I am back to work and can actually use gym again! Whoop whoop. Home workouts and FitOn has been great, but I am excited to get back into heavier stuff! 

Day 17 (missed 16)

I did a wonderful thing today. I donated blood for the first time.

And it felt good. I didn't really feel tired or different afterwards, not dizzy or lightheaded at all. But I still had a very relaxed day, ordered a pizza and watched two films.

Shutter Island and Zodiac, both of which I have seen in past, but it was good to rewatch. Mark Ruffalo in supporting and lead roles. I think I hadn't noticed before how good of an actor he is. Or he always seemed to be a little annoying. But since In The Cut film I saw couple of weeks back, and watching Shutter Island earlier today, he is good!

Anyway, very very very slow and easy day for myself today. Back into routine and off the screen for couple of days starting tomorrow! Also, Martina is back. Happy days!

#blooddonor #happiness

Day 15

Half way through my first 30 days back. I'm excited. 

Not really sure what to say today.

It's weird how easy it is to not do certain things that you have promised yourself you will do. Without having an actual deadline or consequences. So you should do it for your own future pleasure. It's true what Jolanta's book (Awaken The Giant Within - Anthony Robbins) says about pleasure and pain. We always are eager to choose short term pleasure over short term pain. But to get to long term pleasure, we need to get through the sort term pain. Ok, fine, I'm off to fix my curtains!

#stayuncomfortable #choosehardlife #shorttermpain #longtermpleasure

Music: Les Twins Music playlist

Day 14

Can't believe it is 20th of February.
This year is flying by.

6BLACK - Free

Turns out there is a playlist on Spotify with music from Les Twins videos. 16 hours of delicious dance music.

Les Twins are these twin brother, two tall french dancers. Really cute and cool. There is link below to the first video I saw of these guys and fell in love. Dance style that I hadn't seen before. So pure. On the beat. With touch of fun and sex appeal.

LES TWINS World of Dance San Diego 2010 WOD | @yakfilms

I have always wanted to be able to control my body like that. maybe one of the reasons I have done yoga/pilates, because they require the strength and control.

Disclosure - You & Me (Flume Remix)

Gotta ask Christina where she taught herself to dance that contemporary piece. Maybe I can do some of that. Get back into dancing. And when things go back to 'new normal', need to go out 'clubbing'. Haha, who am I kidding? But I do want to go back to salsa dancing.. because it does give you a beautiful waist and most probably will help loosing those extra kilos around my stomach. 

I have been pretty good with my routine nowadays. Just need to think how I can keep it when Martina comes home and also when I go back to work. Good thing is that we are likely to keep working 4 shifts a week until July, obviously that means less money. But if I can keep to my budget that I have done so far, that means extra £100 (or split it 50 extra spending; 50 to pay off Amex) every week!

Christina just responded - YouTube. Alright, have a project for tomorrow! 

P.S. Got both of the Ryanair refunds. Will sort my finances tomorrow. Pay off more on Amex.

Day 13

Album: Homme
Artist: Maarja 

First time I heard this in Tallinn, in a restaurant just off the main square in old town. Not sure if it was exactly this album, but it was this artist. And the music was just so relaxing but energetic at the same time. Maybe it helped that I didn't understand words, so it can just be an amazing background music.

I used to write a lot about my emotions and things that happened to me, which is weird, because I always thought that I didn't know how to express myself. It's a shame I didn't continue writing blog or diary because my first years and all years in London have been full with adventures and interesting people. And maybe, just maybe I would have realised earlier certain things and it would have helped me move on. Relationship wise and professionally.

But as we talked with Jolanta today, everything happens for a reason, we learn from our mistakes. There should be no regrets about the past, because it made us who we are. Only thing one can do is plan the future better. 

I hope I can continue taking time for myself even when things go back to 'normal' including writing a blog (read: writing down my thoughts and adventures) 

__________________________________

https://www.countryliving.com/gardening/g3168/cherry-blossoms-facts/

FYI, maybe there is something there for the name of the business

Day 12

Ha, I thought I could wing it and do the test for my FOH Hospitality Course, but it turns out there are 10 extra modules I haven't looked at. So obviously 20 out of 30 is pretty bad score.

Anyway, if I continue from yesterday - I moved from Montgomery to work for Soho House Group.

Started in Hoxton Grill (Feb 2014), then three months later moved to Electric House on Portobello Road (around the corner from Monty) and November 2019 moved to White City House. It's amazing how versatile my journey has been, I did some time on the floor as a waitress, then moving to reception, helping out with events, taking care of events while manager was on maternity leave and then moved into the role of member relations and reception manager. And all this only at EH. Time at White City House has been an experience - just because half of the time there I haven't even been working - furlough my friends as Covid-19 takes over the world. But from Club Reception and moving into Gym Reception and becoming a manager again, was a good move altogether. 

Anyway, a lot of things I have learned from SH group and realised that having membership is a very good thing for business. And especially now, when we are closed for business, money is still coming in from memberships. Yes, we are crediting the money to members who will be able to use for food & drinks when we re-open, but SH will be making profit.

So this all makes me thinking of what business I would like to be part of.

#membership #cocktails #tapas #art #events #speakeasy #terrace #music #popup #inviting #charming #whiskey #story #movienight #karaoke #localproduce #private #tea&coffee #jazz #salsa #exclusive #education #classes #rooms #solodining #details #cosy #natural #secretdoor #afterhours #levels #memories #life #friends #happiness #real #simple #festival #booths #stage #vintage #rooftop #love

Zero 7 - In the Waiting Line

Day 11

Business Plan should be my priority at this point. But I am struggling with the first question/decision - what kind of business I want to open? 

Since I was a kid, I have always wanted to open a hotel. I even have a perfect building for it. A large building on the side of Daugava, with an amazing view to the river. It would have been a massive project with loads of rooms.

When I was working in Emīla Gustava Šokolāde, I dreamed of having my own little boutique studio, coffee place where you could get delicious alcoholic cocktails as well. A small team of professional and kind people. Quality stuff. Simple.

Alberts and Donegans - the pubs. I am not sure if I would ever think of running a pub, not to even think of owning one. Then again, the love of beer was real at one point in my life, not so long ago, it still might be a possibility. At least an exquisite beer list would definitely appear on the menu and live music events. Oh yes, and frozen liquor shots!

Then there is London. And here I was very much 'dragged' into the world of quality cocktails. Starting with hotel bars and underground speakeasy, ending with me actually working in and for one of the world's best cocktail bars - Montgomery Place. I learned a lot about running (read: managing) a bar. It was an amazing experience. And I am truly grateful for the opportunity to learn about spirits and cocktail making, managing a team and taking care of the bar. And of course, I was 100% sure that I want my own cocktail bar, almost a copy of Monty, because I was in awe of it.

Break times - Trailer of Happiness, Portobello Gold, Luna Rosa..

Move to Soho House Group was a big step. First - Hoxton Grill. I started working there on 29th January, 2014. Oh my god, the Apartment was the best, events space with Kitchen, Living Room, Study, Library and you could hire it out, separately or combined. Oh, and the little break visits to Casita around the corner. That bar was something! So small, with probably about 12 bar stools in total, only couple of them at the actual bar. And the bar cramped with bottles on top of bottles and glassware, and Polaroid photos of customers and stuff, and foreign money notes stuck to the wall. 

But let's talk about Electric House and White City House tomorrow. It is a lot longer story, as I have been with company for now almost 6 years.

Eventually, there has always been this house opposite my childhood home. Which I have always wanted to own and transform into a little paradise. A mix of everything I have done so far in life. So maybe that is the thing I should focus on - that house. Developing an idea for this house but an idea that could work anywhere. I think that is it. Just need to start. Wish me luck.

Day 10 & Commitment During Lent

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, which is the first day of Lent and even though I am not planning on giving up eating meat or chocolate or social media, but I will be reducing it. And hopefully I can reduce my screen time because of that massively.

I do think it's more about commitment to one's self. But then again, maybe there is something I can completely cut out of my life for 40 days - excuses! I am making too many excuses for myself. For having lack of time or lack or motivation or lack of money. When you are stuck at home and can't really go out, then spending money shouldn't be on the list of to do things anyway. Or lack of time on reading or focusing on projects, when all I have right now is time!

But ok, on top of the commitment to myself, I posted yesterday (I will update it in a second), I will give up (read: reduce) screen time on my phone and no blue lights after 8pm. As well as no extra spending for next 40 days, just groceries, bills and savings. No excuses, I can do it!

And here it is - Commitment to myself during Lent (17th February - 3rd April)

I will continue to go for walks every morning

I will continue to cook for myself a nutritious and delicious meals while learning more about nutrition in general

I will focus on pursuing one of these every day - developing my business plan (with help of front of house hospitality course); learn how to be financially literate and earn extra money with side hustle; reduce my to do list by whether doing them or deleting them from the list forever

I will exercise every day (little FitOn workouts, Sun Salutations, 5K run or strength workouts)

I will reduce screen time, but will enjoy an occasional film, a good classic or an interesting documentary 

I will take time for myself to meditate, to my nails, have a shower or learn putting on make up

I will reach out to my family, my friends & my work colleagues

I will read books before sleep

I will stop making excuses and get on with doing things that I want to do

I will stop spending money I don't have 

Day 9

Commitment Statement to myself (draft)

I will reduce the screen time. But will enjoy an occasional film, a good classic or interesting documentary. (2 hours)

I will do little bit of exercise every day, even if it is only 10-15 minutes of stretching or strength workout. (1 hour)

I will focus on developing my business plan - front of house hospitality and finances. (1 hour)

I will learn about nutrition for my own benefit. (1 hour)

I will reduce my to-do list. By doing the things on the list and by forgetting about things I won't do. (1 hour)

I will read a book. (1 hour)

If I concentrate only an hour to each of these plus two hours for a film, I have plenty of hours a day left for a two hour walk and cooking myself a delicious meal.

6am wake up - 9.30pm go to sleep = (15.5 hours awake)

7 hours commitments + 2 hours walk + 2 hours food = 11 hours

4.5 hours of 'free time' 

p.s. Album on Spotify : Moby - Hotel 

Day 8 (missed out on day 7... again)

Happy Valentines!

Otis Redding - Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay

It has been a wonderful day. It started as every day this year, with early morning walk with Jolanta. We treated ourselves to a mocha from Starbucks.

It is a bit weird to be alone on Valentine's but I guess it's better to be alone and happy with myself than be in a relationship that doesn't work. I have done some 'soul searching' and working on myself. 

Bill Withers - Lovely Day

I think I have become a happier person. And more accepting towards myself and people around me. Being on my own in the apartment has challenged me to keep a routine for myself. Pushing myself to not just sit all day on my ass, but actually read a book, cook, study a course, exercise and work on some projects I have been postposing as they have always seemed too big to be done in a day. And they are. But now that I have all this time on my hands, it would be a shame to waste it and I have no excuses. Normally my excuse would be 'not enough time' 

Bob Marley - Three Little Birds

The Podcast of Project Body Love didn't seem to go anywhere, but then again, I didn't really give it a chance, did I? Same as this 30 day project of writing in a blog. I missed out two days already, but I guess, should just keep it going and it will become a habit eventually. Or maybe I just don't have anything to write about? Well, that's not true!

Let's listen to the blog. Right, I have listened to three days of this podcast, and you know what, I don't want to continue. All three days concentrate on negativity and even though I understand that you need to understand and accept where this negativity around your body image comes from, I think I would prefer to look into the future and look at the positive aspects and focus on those. I know I have not been happy with my body, the way it looks for a very long time. Even though when I look at the pictures from years ago, I see a beautiful skinny girl that looks amazing in those jeans or in that dress or that short skirt! I want to be that girl again! And I can be. All it takes is discipline and self love. Little less sugar in my life, little more consistency with exercises. And I cannot wait for warmer weather so I can go for an occasional run again. 

Also, I do miss gym. Since my move from Club Reception to Gym Reception manager back last year September, I have grown to love it and most importantly enjoy it. For myself. And turns out, I am strong and I love strength exercises. Yes, not to worry, yoga is still a bit part of my life. Sun salutations is a must.

Leon Bridges - River

All the songs today, curtesy of Spotify playlist 'Summer in the Garden' and I'm ready to go to sleep. Maybe just a little read before. 

Oh, I've made progress in sorting the pictures. Very happy with myself. That I have finally gotten around to take it upon. Looking forward to making some picture books and the memory album. Just need to find a good size scrap book.

Day 6 (missed out on day 5)

Ok. How did I miss a day already? What was I doing yesterday, so important that I didn’t have 10 minutes to sit down and write down a line or two?

Well, but one good thing did happen yesterday. My Ryanair flight cancellation got confirmed and I’m in process of getting refund! Very excited and very thankful!

I’ll read my book now, thank you.

Till tomorrow, market day, will tell you all about it!

xx

Day 4

today was supposed to be a reflection day, before the new year starts on 12th February. and i haven't actually thought about last 30 days. but i guess i should a bit. i feel i have come a long way in last couple of months in general. yes, i still have a lot of things on to do list, but i am focusing and doing and reading and trying my best to not be a lazy ass b****. but, of course, i can push myself even more which i will do.

one thing i did notice is that i have not been able to fill out my diary (happiness planner) properly. it requires me to write down things i want to focus on and things i am excited about for the day. they always seem to be the same things that are on to do list or on schedule. and i'm sure there is more i can be excited about, not just going for a walk.

maybe i should get up a little earlier, have a 5 minute meditation, sit down with cup of tea and actually focus a bit more on what i will do that day and be excited about.

then again, we are still locked in. house arrest. you can leave the house locally once a day for exercise, groceries or essential shopping. so there is not much to be excited about. find excitement!

let's get down to the big projects - photos! business plan! side hustle! 

p.s. project body love.

how important it is for you to improve your body image? 7 - i think i already value my body a lot more than couple of years back and appreciate it, especially when comparing how i feel about it now, when i look at old photos.  

how confident you are that you can improve your body image? 9 - i can definitely do it. it is not a 10 because i think there will always be days that i won't feel great about myself, but will focus on continuing on improvement.

Day 3.b

ha! i can put more effort into this. :D

just read some of my older posts on here. and they are full with fun happenings, amazing music and pictures of memories.

i can definitely put more effort into making this a better diary than it is right now.

even if it is just for me. :)

by the way, this is me. from couple of days ago. early morning walk. Hyde park. with Jolanta. and squirrels. 

x

music: St Finnikin - Monarch

Day 3

hasn't really been a super productive day. started Project Body Love - comitment to listen to 5 minutes a day of 30 day podcast. first day ssked me to answer these questions below: why are you looking to improve relationship with yourself image? why now? what do you hope to achieve? what would a better body image mean to you? started the flow training modules for work. made a delicious sorrel soup. the girls moved the chat to thursday, as Anna wasn't feeling well today and have important meetings tomorrow. probably will have a read of the 'shopping book' and go to sleep early. p.s. my answers to the questions. i want to improve my relationship with my body image, because i know i am beautiful, but there is always those couple of kilos that i want to drop. even though looking back at pictures, where i thought i was fat, i now know i wasn't. but i want to be happy with how i am while improving and toning my body to the level it was couple of years ago. why now? because i am more aware of it, and because it is easy to be influenced by social media of the standards, expectations, that are not real in every day world for an every day person. i hope to feel more confident about my body, dress a bit more courageously. and allowing myself to wear dresses that accentuate my body and the good aspects of it - the legs, bum, sholders, back.. it would mean, i wouldn't doubt myself and be comfortable in my own skin and clothes

Day 2

hey hey it's been snowing all day and it's so beautiful and white. reminds me of home. makes me miss home. but i have been very lucky to feel good throughout this time. even though martina is away and i'm spending most of my day alone and at home, i have been able to look up to the positive things in my life and concentrate on little projects to keep me going from one day to another. i did spend all day today being lazy and just chilling on a sofa, watching netflix. yes, i had a walk, yes, i did go to shop with Laura, yes, i did have delicious home cooked steak for lunch/dinner. but no books or courses were done today. sometimes you do need to let go and not have the pressure of being perfect everyday. allow yourself to not do all the things on the list. but tomorrow i hope to be productive. and fingers crossed, i can chat with my girls. it's been too long. miss you, g. x

Day 1

it's again been a while since i wrote anything. where do i start? i have always skipped starting something or delayed doing something, because i want it to be perfect, and i want to know all about it before i get into it. like starting to write in a beautiful notebook. the first page needs to be perfect.. but then i look back, and yes, first page is perfect, but then the rest of it seems rushed and messy.. so i think it's better to start when you want to and improve over time.. this is why i'll just start. it's snowing here in London and we are in #lockdown3. i'm baking apple cinnamon muffins with oats and no sugar. my day consists of a daily early morning walk with jolanta, book reading, podcast listening and a mix of little projects. as well as netflix, tik tok and instagram scroll. a touch of daily exercise. it's all going well on days when i'm productive and push myself to be #uncomfortable. it's a bit harder in the days when i spend the whole day in front of the screen watching some series and i can't even rememeber what i watched the day later. but over last couple of days, i think i have learned to switch off and focus on things that are important to me. the early mornings with jolanta are important. it's a positive start of the day. and informative. and challenging at times (especially when it's pissing down like crazy). exchange of what we have learned from podcasts, books and courses as well as tik tok is amazing even if sometimes we don't agree with each other, we have learned to agree to disagree. and even more, come to accept that we are different and that the fact that we are different (at this point i'm talking about the general population) makes us amazing. we need to understand that if we all were the same, if all did everthing the same, came to same conclusions and never challenged each other, the world would be a very bleak place. anyway, i'll go back to my muffins and speak tomorrow! g.x